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The Importance Of Teaching Your Teenage Child That It Is Alright To Just Say No
This may seem like an odd thing to say but a lot of parents do not recognize how vital it is to teach children that dating and sex are not one and the same. Unfortunately all too many teenagers just take it for granted that sex is a normal part of dating and even a glance at magazines and television aimed at teens shows why this is so. Do not just assume that your teenagers know the difference between dating and sex and see that you get this message across to them.
Teach your children the distinction between dating and sex from a young age and emphasize this message frequently. In particular, help your teenagers to understand that dating involves getting to know the other person emotionally and not merely physically.
Teens will frequently have a 'one track mind' and you will have to suggest other things for them to do on a date rather than just focusing their minds on having sex. This might seem silly but you would be amazed at how often teens choose sex as an option just because they are bored and cannot come up with anything else to do with their time. So, as odd as it might seem you really will have to suggest things that your teenage children can do on a date to have fun. If you can get them to stay busy enough then there is a good chance that they will have to say no less frequently.
A significant number of parents teach their teenagers how to say no to sex and suggest a long string of excuses or remarks. The is alright but a retort only tends to work once and merely brushing off the suggestion with a retort is only putting the question off and leaving the door open for the suggestion to keep coming up time and again. The answer is to instruct your child to simply say no firmly and clearly and that, though they might wish to give reasons, they should not need to do so and just saying no ought to be sufficient.
If you find yourself in the situation in which a teenager has already had sex then you may believe that it is too late to talk to them about saying no. This is unquestionably not the case. Many teenagers believe that once they have had sex with someone they cannot reasonably refuse to do so again. The mere fact that they have experimented with sex however does not mean that this issue can simply be 'crossed off' their list of hurdles and you have to make it clear that they can say no to sex if they feel uncomfortable. You also need to discuss with them the fact that engaging in sex should always be something of significance and special and that considerable myth surrounds the importance of their initial sexual experience.
While talking about the importance of establishing relationships that are based upon a lot more than just sex, it is also imperative to combine this with teaching your teens about safe sex practices. However much you might wish to do so you are not always going to be able to stop your children from engaging in sex. However, you can give yourself some peace of mind by attempting to see that your children stay safe, even if they choose not to avail themselves of your advice to stand up for themselves and make sensible choices.
Parenting4Dummies.com provides tips on parenting and covers a wide range of topics including teen sex advice
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