Verbal abuse can have damaging long-term effects on mental health and can often go unnoticed unlike physical abuse. Signs to look out for include constant criticism, invalidation, gaslighting, humiliation and control, threats of physical harm, isolation, physical aggression and manipulation. Verbal abusers are skilled at shifting the blame and making their partner feel guilty for their behaviour. Victims of abuse are advised to seek help from a trusted friend, family member, therapist or counsellor. Remember, there is no excuse for abuse of any kind and everyone deserves to be treated with respect and kindness.
How to Spot Verbal Abuse in Your Relationship
Do you feel like your relationship has taken a wrong turn, but you’re not sure why? You may be the victim of verbal abuse. Unlike physical abuse, verbal abuse can go unnoticed for a long period of time, causing long-term and damaging effects on your mental health. Here are some signs to look for to determine if you are experiencing verbal abuse in your relationship.
Constant criticism
One of the most common signs of verbal abuse is constant criticism. If your partner is always putting you down, belittling your accomplishments, and berating your efforts, it’s likely that they don’t have your best interests at heart. They may find small faults with everything you do, leaving you feeling like nothing you do is ever good enough.
Invalidation
Verbal abusers will often try to make you feel that your thoughts and feelings are invalid. They may belittle you for expressing your emotions, make you feel guilty for wanting to spend time with loved ones or pursue hobbies, or dismiss your opinions altogether. This can leave you feeling like your voice doesn’t matter, and can even make you question your own sanity.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that involves manipulating someone into questioning their own reality. It can range from something as simple as denying that they said something hurtful to outright denying experiences that happened. If your partner makes you feel like you can’t trust your own memories or perception of events, it’s a serious red flag.
Humiliation and control
Verbal abusers will often use humiliation as a way to control you. They may make fun of your appearance, intelligence, or abilities, or use abusive language to exert control. This can chip away at your self-worth, making it easier for them to maintain their dominance in the relationship.
Threats
Threatening behavior is another red flag for verbal abuse. Your partner may make threats of physical harm, or threaten to leave if you don’t comply with their demands. This is a way to exert control and create a fear-based relationship dynamic.
Isolation
Verbal abusers will often try to isolate their partner from friends and family, making it harder for them to seek support or confide in others. They may try to create a sense of us against the world, making it harder for their partner to leave the relationship or seek help if needed.
Physical aggression
While verbal abuse is not the same as physical abuse, it can often escalate into physical aggression. If your partner has ever become physically violent during an argument, it’s a serious warning sign that you need to leave the relationship as soon as possible.
Manipulation and blame-shifting
Verbal abusers are often skilled at manipulating others and shifting blame to avoid responsibility for their actions. They may make you feel guilty for their behavior, or try to convince you that you’re the one causing problems in the relationship. This can make it harder for you to recognize the abuse, as you start to believe that you’re the one at fault.
If you’re experiencing verbal abuse in your relationship, it’s important to seek help. Talk to a trusted friend or family member, or seek the advice of a therapist or counselor. Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and that there is no excuse for abuse of any kind.
